Stories We Tell is a documentary on love lost and found. The subject matter is Sarah Polley’s vivacious, deceased mom Diane and her love as a wife, lover and mother. The stories are told by those she touched (all but Sarah) and expand upon the theme of love to include friends and acquaintances. At its core the film studies Diane’s love for herself and life at large, letting us gawk at one family’s dirty laundry. You can google reviews on proper filmmaking matters; this account is visceral and personal.
Through Diane’s life choices, we examine our own what ifs. What would make us leave or stay? How would we have handled divided loyalties? Would we rather hurt someone we love or ourselves? Would we label our heart and soul’s yearning as wrong?
How often have we created assumptions in our minds about how others would react to our truths? Too afraid to reveal our inner vulnerabilities and secrets, we stifle the truth and suffer the consequences. Which raises the question of how well can you ever really know someone? Have you seen them with their mask off for realz?
The part that really got to me is how you can die without ever really knowing your impact on someone else’s life, whether you knew them for 5 minutes, a day, 5 years or a lifetime.
Lately I’ve found myself mulling over the past and desperately trying to make peace with it. The guilt and shame I carried went largely unnoticed until experiences like watching Stories We Tell would trigger it, sweeping me up in a tsunami of suppressed emotions.
I was forced to develop compassion for my former self and the relationships I had in those self-loathing times. In the case of my former best friend, I was able to reach out and share my new perspective and it was such a lovely and healing exchange. In the case of my now married EX, I just have to trust that on some level he knows how sorry I am for past transgressions and that I’ve finally changed for the better (that’s the word on the street :P).
You see, the love I had for these people got caught up in my own shit until it was unrecognizable and I thought I was better off without them. I’m not even talking “romantic” love just “no name brand” human being love. On some level, the separations were necessary for growth. That’s just how life goes sometimes.
All we can really do is love ourselves a little more each day and try to apply lessons learned from the past to our present day relationships.
Like life, Stories We Tell is heartbreaking and victorious all at once. Definitely worth watching and deserving of the accolades it has garnered.
How well do you know yourself and those around you?